Dear Dylan,

I would like to respond to your first questions: 1 Why can’t the male and female brain be the same in stead of different?

First of all, the brains of all humans are more alike than different but the differences come about primarily since male and female brain’s have evolved in slightly different niches for millions of years. The female is the one who becomes pregnant and gives birth and must keep the helpless infant alive for many years. The special talents of the female brain that are superior to the male have come about due to her special reproductive tasks. Those include a better ability to read non-verbal emotional cues and facial expressions. The male brain has had slightly different tasks for millions of years like protection and guarding his wife and offspring from intruders or wife-poachers. Thank you for your interesting question. Dr. Brizendine
Dear Dr. Brizendine,

would you please answer these questions i thought of while reading “The Female Brain” and I did especially like page 39. Dylan Howard

Dear Dr. Brizendine,

would you please answer these questions i thought of while reading “The Female Brain” and I did especially like page 39. Dylan Howard

1 Why can’t the male and female brain be the same in stead of different?
2 What are the main differences of the female brain compared to the male brain?
3 What does the female brain need that the male doesn’t?
4 What is the primary role of the female brain to society?
5 Why do some males think of them selves as superior to Females in most aspects?
6 What is the males general agenda for females?
7 What do females want from men the most?
8 What do males want the most from women?
9 What does the female brain dislike the most about the male brain?
10 What is needed from both the female brain and the male brain to sustain a long lasting relationship?

Last night I went to see Louann Brizendine speak about her book The Female Brain at Book Passage in Corte Madera. Her book compiles groundbreaking new studies on the female brain - it’s specific attributes, needs and functions. Louann shared that The Female Brain will make the New York Times Bestseller List next week at #11. The books success reflects the public’s thirst for greater understanding around issues of pregnancy, motherhood, sexuality, hormones, moods, and menopause.

I brought my two sons with me, who are ages 9 and 5. It was humorous to see these two boys sitting in a room filled with women, patiently listening to a talk about the female brain, of all subjects. Much to Louann’s credit, my 5-year-old son even wanted to ask her a question. He asked, “How big is a brain?” Louann told him it was the size of a cantaloupe.

I was pleased to see a few other men there, including Carlos Santana, who quietly sat two rows ahead of me wearing a chartreuse suit coat and a straw fedora hat. I admired his genuine interest in learning more about women’s biology, and thought his wife must be a lucky woman.

I too asked a question, which was, as usual, absurdly broad in scope and long-winded. I heard the audience sigh. It went something like, “given the new research on the female brain, neuroscience and attachment, and the effects they have on healthy development and lifestyle, what do you think are the implications for corporate structures and their unrealistic expectations of employees… the growing necessity of two-household incomes…laws such as the family leave act… and subsidized childcare?” Maybe I should have asked, “How big is a brain?”

Louann agreed that there are many implications for changes in government, laws and lifestyles, in light of the new research about women and children’s brains and needs. She said she often tells corporations that they have to take care of their female employees, especially those who have been with them for years and are highly valuable to the company. She asks them, “Can you provide childcare if an employee has a sick child?” She stressed that there needs to be a lot of “deep thinking” about these issues in future years. A paragraph in her book expands upon this statement:

We are living in the midst of a revolution of consciousness about women’s biological reality that will transform human society. I cannot predict the exact nature of the change, but I suspect it will be a shift from simplistic to deep thinking about the changes we need to make on a grand scale. If the external reality is the sum total of the way people conceive it, then our external reality will change only when the dominant view of it changes. The scientific facts behind how the female brain functions, perceives reality, responds to emotions, reads emotions in others, and nurtures and cares for others are women’s reality. Their needs for functioning at their full potential and using the innate talents of the female brain are becoming clear scientifically. Women have a biological imperative for insisting that a new social contract take them and their needs into account. Our future, and our children’s future, depends upon it.

What will this new social contract look like? One of the most compelling points that Louann Brizendine makes in the book is that during the first two years of life a child absorbs it’s mother’s nervous system. If the mother is anxious and stressed, she will pass these traits on to her child. She writes:

Neurological incorporation begins during pregnancy. Maternal stress during pregnancy has effects on the emotional and stress hormone reactions, particularly in female offspring. So if you’re a girl about to enter the womb, plan to be born to an unstressed mom who has a calm, loving partner and family to support her. And if you’re a mom-to-be, carrying a female fetus, take it easy so that your daughter will be able to relax.

In light of this reality, what conditions would enable a mother to feel calm and relaxed during her pregnancy and for at least the first two years of her child’s life?

Asking questions is one of the most important elements to solving problems and creating change. When we hold a question or questions in mind, we can then wait for the pieces of the solutions to reveal themselves organically. I use this technique when writing, creating art, or when I need to make a life change. It’s a function of the creative process that works for just about anything. Perhaps it will help some of us make changes in our lives as we are guided by the new research regarding the female brain.

To read more about The Female Brain (click here) or see the link to Louann Brizendine’s website in the right side bar.

Thank you for reading and using my book in your life. I have heard from many of you out there who are reading “The Female Brain”–a soldier in his bunk in Iraq after his wife sent him the book in a care package–a high school girl in New Jersey who wonders exactly what she should be getting out of her introductory psychology class since they aren’t teaching anything about relationships, hormones, PMS and sex that she wants to know–a truck driver in the Midwest who just had his wife leave him after twenty-eight years and wants to know how to get her back–and many others of you who are finding answers to questions about female emotions, hormones in the female brain, choosing who to love and marry, sexual functioning and the female brain, and all the phases of a female’s life–including peri-menopause and after. I have heard from many men that they wish they had had the information in this book when they were younger–one 82-year-old man wrote saying it would have “saved me from many mistakes with women in my life”. I hope you will write to me too and let me know how it has influenced your life and our relationships. I really appreciate all of the feedback and interest from all of you. We all know from experience that men and women can do all of the same things–we can both be doctors, lawyers, politicians, astronauts, scientists, teachers and child-care providers. The differences in our brains have evolved for millions of years–mostly having to do with our sex-specific tasks related to females being the ones to get pregnant and keep helpless infants alive. Learning to live together in the modern world with our different brains is what this book is all about. I am very gratified that so many of you have found it helpful and enjoyed reading it.

I have recently finished a book tour and radio tour around the USA and have had the pleasure of meeting many of you in person. Now that I am back home in San Francisco I am starting to work on my new book: “The Male Brain”. I plan to give a public lecture on The Female Brain in Camden, Maine in October at the Pop Tech event and perhaps will see some of you there as well.

You can write to me through my website at www.louannbrizendine.com

All the best and thanks for reading and writing!

Louann Brizendine

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